Friday, 30 November 2012

Embracing Your Inner Savage

The blackened eyes of the bridge troll show no delight as she scarfs down a can of pineapple.
Ever have those days when you feel really cranky for no reason? I do. I don't want anything to be funny, pretty or even shiny. On these days, if something makes me smile I want to crush it!!! RAAAWWWRR!

My assumption is that these moods are my body's way of telling me that I need to take a breather (either that or I'm secretly becoming a bridge troll). Maybe I've been putting too much pressure on myself lately, or just being overdramatic, either way, it's time to take a few deep breaths and chill the heck out. There are a few things I try to do to help this along, so I thought I'd share them with you.

1. Accept that I'm in a savage mood and get myself away from any unknowing potential victims. When my inner troll comes out to play, Boyfriend is usually the one who falls prey to the savage whip of snarls and complaints. He'll say something like "Good morning, Beautiful", to which I'll respond something along the lines of "I'm hideous and today sucks balls! Snaaarrrlll". I can usually tell by his wide, confused eyes that I'm being a turd. For his own sanity (and safety), he'll usually hide in his office until this mood has passed.

2. Eat something. Instead of just biting the face off people, it's a good idea if I grab a snack. Yesterday I ate an entire jumbo sized can of diced pineapple. I should have stopped at a quarter can, but the troll was bored and hungry. After I was sufficiently stomach sick, I made some muffins, and ate a bunch of those. Usually when my tummy is overflowing into my other organ space, I'm starting to calm down a bit. I guess I get cranky when I'm hungry.
The wild savage in her natural habitat.
3. Busy myself. Video games are my go to here, I also read, bake, crochet, make jewellery, play with the dogs, or develop highly detailed plans for world domination (only on the worst cranky days). I find that focusing on something simple and enjoyable calms my nerves.

4. Word vomit to my best friend. Marissa and I call this 'having the means'. Sometimes, you get mean thoughts in your head that just need to get out before they rot your brain. I'll call her up, vomit out the cranky speech, and then feel much better. Everyone has mean thoughts, but using them to hurt someone is what makes them a bad thing. I find that venting to my trustworthy and awesome bestie gets rid of the means without actually hurting anyone. Sometimes you've just gotta vent. It's like cleaning your house; you get rid of the crappy stuff so that you can fill it with bright and shiny new things.

6. I picture spam my mom and best friend. I do this a lot. Sending them stupid pictures makes me laugh. I just sent my mom this little gem yesterday:

I captioned it "You gave birth to this".

7. Nap. When all else fails, start the day over. I generally wake up feeling refreshed and less cranky.

Does anyone else have these days, or am I a nutter?
Hope everyone is having a lovely Friday!

Hugs and poops,



  1. I have one. I'm having one right now.

    I call my mom to rant (complete)
    I cuddle my dog and tell him all about it. The cuddling has happened but I have to wait for privacy to share my deepest agitations with him.
    I also like taking my anger to the mall. The over stimulation of being in a big anonymous crowd where I don't have to talk to anyone or even look at them relaxes me somehow.
    Then alcohol. Alcohol fixes everything.

    1. Dermot looks like a great therapist. I don't know what it is about doggy kisses, but I swear they have a better effect than any medication.
      I don't drink, but I love mixing fancy drinks! Our habits could mix! haha
      I hope you feel better soon. I'm glad I'm not alone though!